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well, just thought i'd update   
09:29pm 13/03/2006
  Today was really awful.

I got out of bed because I had to throw up. I'm really sick. I mean REALLY sick.

I feel unusual because my antidepressants are making me hairy.

I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got a Good Charlotte CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have bipolar disorder, and should stop smoking drugs.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.

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(pucker up)

I can't wait!!!   
11:28am 06/07/2005
  Saturday night I'm seeing the Dave Matthews Band at the Tweeter center!!!!

Then next Friday I'm going down to Boston to help "housewarm", (drink excessively, lol), Ms. Eileen McSweeney's new apartment!!!!!!!!

I'm excited!

Soooo work still sucks, weekends are mostly awesome, my roomies are home again and we're complete, Matt living here is wonderful (as well as all the other guys at Fairbanks!), and I guess everything is as good as good goes.

(1 kiss | pucker up)

time for a little update   
10:59am 10/06/2005
mood: excited
Well, what can I say? Life is pretty hectic right now, but it's also very exciting and awesome. I'm working two jobs currently, first at Jake's 5 Star, the convenience store I've worked at all year, and second as a secretary for Drogue Painting, here in Keene. The secretary job sort of just fell into my lap, set up by my boss at Jake's who I think felt guilty for not being able to help me out with full time hours this summer. I'm working for a guy named Alan who is an absolute mess, so taking this job was kind of like becoming his personal assistant and he is difficult to keep up with. He's a middle-aged newly single guy who used to party a lot and is frazzled and stressed out all the time. Typically he naps on the couch or golfs all day while I organize his entire life. I have no idea how his painting business has survived 20 years..I really don't. It's not so bad, because I'm making more money than I ever have before, but I guess that's the trade off. During the week I've been working non-stop. It's really hard to make myself do this when most of the people around me aren't working like crazy like me, but I'm getting used to it. I've got no choice, I love money, and I have weekends off which is a godsend. I've been a busy girl, but I've got lots I want to do this summer and I think it's going to be good.

My sister Karli is graduating next Saturday. I'm reeeaaalllly excited about it because my older sister Stacy is flying in from Illinois, and I absolutely adore her. Us three sisters don't get much time together, maybe twice a year if we're lucky, so I can't wait. I can't wait for her to meet Matt and my friends either because it's probably been at least 2 years since she's been out our way, and so much has changed in those two years, it's rediculous. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't beleive it's been two years since our graduation. I realized that much of that summer after high school, and really my whole first year of college is a blur. I was trying so hard and doing everything I could to block out the pain that I think I ended up just becoming numb and blocking out everything. Looking back now, I don't know how I got through those times, but somehow I did, and I grew up so much. I wouldn't be the person I am today without my past, and it's taught me so much.

Last night was the first time I hung out at Fairbanks St. since it's been Matt, Jeff, Josh, and Dave's place!!!!! The apartment is still only a little bit moved into but I can tell it's going to be awesome. I am so happy things are working out the way they are...having Matt here is going to be amazing. I'm so happy everything worked out for him and Keene State. And I'm just so excited that things are coming together!!!

(4 kisses | pucker up)

so funny I had to share   
02:11pm 09/06/2005
mood: happy
"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell u why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me w/ their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect u, u asshole."

(1 kiss | pucker up)

No Seriously,   
07:36am 20/03/2005
mood: happy
This was one of the best weeks of my life!!!

First of all it was awesome enough not going to school or work for a week and a half, coming to Nashua and being with Matt, hanging out with my family, etc....but oh my god was Montreal amazing!!! I think we fit pretty much everything we could have into those 3 days. SO MUCH ALCOHOL!! So much fun!!! The hilarious stories are endless...

I only wish I could have made it to Boston to see Eileen!!! Damn the snow last Saturday!!!!!

So besides being bummed about going back to school and the normal routine tomorrow, things are pretty damn great. My Dad had surgery this week on his spine and things went very well. Things with Matt are awesome, and I got a good fix of him this week :)

Sarah and I are wrapping up our Spring Break with lunch at Lui's and tonight it's back to the Rox!!!! xo

(2 kisses | pucker up)

10:54pm 27/11/2004
  So it's been a crazy long time since I last updated, livejournal doesn't seem to have quite the addictive qualities it used to have on me, but I figured what the hell, it's thanksgiving....

Vacation was good to me :) I've spent tons of time with my adorable boy, and it just feels so good to stay in Nashua for more than one night at a time. We rang in the Roar man's 20th birthday friday night! Happy birthday Rory!

As for the rest of my life, it's definately safe to say that stress is overwhleming me between school, working, and $$ issues...every day is a struggle to get it together and keep it together..but through all the worrying and mental breakdowns I'm coming out ok...and that's all that matters right???

I'm still the same old Julie :)

(2 kisses | pucker up)

just can't walk off this buzz...   
03:54pm 26/08/2004
mood: discontent
Things have begun to settle in, and realizations are being made that we do actually have to do things other than whatever we want all day and night...

I got a job at Dunkin Donuts last week and I started Monday, but I already quit. I worked one day, and what a shitty day. Everything was different, I didn't really like anyone there, and what was I thinking getting another dunkin donuts job in the first place? So Tuesday, the lady from the convenience store across the street from my house called, gave me the job, and is starting me off at pretty decent pay. So I quit dunkins, and now I am working my first night at the convenience store in about an hour. It's a sweet job and I'm extremely excited :).

Being in Keene is bringing back all kinds of memories though...good and bad....just like I knew it would. Sometimes I get really sad thinking about everything and how it all went down this summer, but I guess I'll just try and stay on the bright side of things, make myself happy for awhile longer, and keep waiting for someone who just thinks I'm awesome. Everything good like that happens when you least expect it I guess...

come on school...bring it.

(1 kiss | pucker up)

everythings falling into place   
06:26pm 15/08/2004
mood: bored
Last night was our first taste of "partying" in the house, and except for a small amount of weeeird drama, it was really fun. We got a big peice of plywood for beer pong and that worked good, and I really am just so goddamn excited to live here. It's gonna be a hell of a year.

I'm not really planning on going to Nashua before Friday, and thats to pick up my paycheck, and this week I have to get a job. Today I got an application at the convenience store across the street but I'd never be that lucky.

I'm kinda missin work...as dumb as that sounds. I was there like, most of my time this summer. But I had to make money so I guess it was wirth it.

Nothing else really interesting to report. Life is pretty cool right now. Don't want school to start but it will be cool when everyone is back.

If anyone wants to come to the apt give me a call! You'll love it.

(2 kisses | pucker up)

12:43am 12/08/2004
mood: confused
I feel like my world has just been flipped upside down...maybe cuz it has been...but in a good way :)

2 days and I'm gone...

Bacardi anyone? :) awww shit.

(3 kisses | pucker up)

01:44am 10/08/2004
mood: awake
I wish I was making out with someone in the back of a limo like I just saw on a commercial.

Just a thought...

(2 kisses | pucker up)

"Theres nuts everywhere!!"   
11:34pm 09/08/2004
mood: alright
This weekend was nuts. Friday night after work I packed my entire room in like, 4 hours, slept for 2, woke up, and MOVED TO KEENE!!!!

Moving sucked, but it's all done now and soooo worth it. My wonderful Chelsie built most of my desk, and my room is looking awesome.

Saturday night I overdid it a little on the vodka, passed out with my contacts in, and when I woke up Sunday morning one of my eyes was swollen shut! On top of that I had the worst headache and stomachache of my life. It was one hell of a hangover. Sarah took me to the emergency room and of course I had a nasty infection in my eyes. But I'm feeling much better now.

Now being home sucks because none of my stuff is here. Oh well 4 more days of work then I'll never have to be in Nashua, unless I wanna be.

Tomorrow night after work I'm heading to the apartment, and Wednesday the cable and internet is being turned on, which is awesome. So if anyone wants to come check out the apartment give me a call I'll be back and forth all week.

(pucker up)

What was I thinking?!?!?!?!?!?! hahaha   
01:42am 06/08/2004
mood: crazy
So I have stepped back into reality finally!!

I'm moving into the apartment in less than 2 daaaayyyyssss....better get back to packing

(3 kisses | pucker up)

01:42am 04/08/2004
mood: crazy
-My dad didn't end up going away like he was supposed to for a week so....i'm a little bummed

-He has to go away next week instead so, instead of moving to Keene next weekend, I'm doing it this weekend. And I have nothing packed or ready to go...

The next few days are gonna be crazy...

(pucker up)

playing on repeat for the last 45 minutes...   
02:58am 02/08/2004
mood: hopeful
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all
I want to be where I've never been before
I want to be there and then I'd understand
Know I'm right and do it right, could I get to be like that
I'll know what I don't know with nothin more to gain
Will I get better or stay the same
I find I always move to slowly
Can't lift a finger, can't change my mind
I never knew till someone told me that...
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all
And all the people who've seen it all before
And all the people who really understand
Know they're right, and have done it right, could I get to be like that
I'll know what I don't know, it's harder everyday
Can't lift a finger, can't hurt a fly
I've found I always move too slowly
One things for certain, I'm insecure
I never knew till someone told me that....
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all
Nobody cares at all
They never care at all -Guster

(pucker up)

I'm all confused..   
02:46am 02/08/2004
mood: nervous
I had an awesome weekend with Danielle, visiting her CRAZY relatives! They truly are hilarious, I'm determined to marry into that family. We basically spent the weekend on the boat, tubing hardcore!, and relaxing. This afternoon it was pouring and I played my first game of monopoly ever. What a game.

Anyways, now that I'm home, I have 2 more full weeks working then I'm planning on moving into the apartment on Saturday August 14. No matter what my last day of work will the the 13, but I may end up sticking around here for another week. Everyone has to come visit, it's an awesome house, and 4 awesome girls, and it's just going to be amazing.

And as for everything else I'm just taking it as it comes. I've been doing sooo much thinking my head aches and I don't understand what to do and I'm all confused but the one thing I have to say is that I haven't had tears for a few weeks now and that's how I know I'm doing something right. And it feels right, and I really hope it does end up being right because...it makes me happy. And that is the ultimate goal right?!?!?!

(pucker up)

slam-bam-thank-you-mam style   
05:21pm 30/07/2004
mood: excited
Tonight it's me against a bottle of vodka and I cannot wait until 11 to get out of work!!!!

(1 kiss | pucker up)

awesome past couple of days   
01:48pm 27/07/2004
mood: contemplative

Boston was a good time Saturday night. Eileen and I were offered ecstacy and coke on the side of the road from some weirdo, just walking around like we owned the fucking place.On Sunday Sarah and I had the brilliant idea to move some stuff up to the apartment and oh man, am I excited. I put up some of my posters and things, and it's actually starting to look like MY ROOM, in MY HOUSE! I am so goddamn excited. yesterday I worked, as usual, then last night we had a SLEEPOVER at Mollie's with me, Sarah, Molly, and Chris Nest! Chris curled my hair to look like Jessica Simpson even though it didn't, it still looked a-mazing. So that's it. Now i'm sitting in front of my computer eating peanut butter from the jar and getting ready to get ready for work....

So...I know that I can do life on my own, but everything is just so much sweeter when you have somebody to share all these crazy moments with...



(pucker up)

<3<3<3<3 cool people don't have to plug their cell phone numbers in livejournal.......   
05:25pm 24/07/2004
mood: excited
So today has been a relaxing day. W&B, followed by a shower and some hardcore grocery shopping.

Tonight I've just made plans with the lovely lovely Eileen. If you know anything cool that's going on that these two hot chicks could be in on don't hesitate, CALL NOW!

305-6892 :)

(pucker up)

02:33am 23/07/2004
mood: excited

Whenever my two best friends are here, and all three of us are in one place, there is no way for us not to be having fun. I love you guys! Darts was kick ass I can't wait for tomorrow.

I don't have to work until Monday! I'm so goddamn excited. I gotta actually start doing my to-do list that I made a few days ago. I'm so behind on life.

I'm in a pretty good mood...I saw someone cool today :)



(2 kisses | pucker up)

02:08am 21/07/2004
  So, this is an essay I wrote for school last year. Kind of sums up what I went through immediately after my Mom died. Just thought I'd share: here it isCollapse )  

(3 kisses | pucker up)